I made a major purchase. I've always wanted an African Grey parrot and given their lifespan of about 40 years, I figured it was now or never. I'm aware that parrots are screechers but African Greys don't have the capacity for that (so I was told). Well meet Gandalf the Grey who is very special. This over-achiever starts screaming about 5:30 am. Every morning.
This morning I tried to take him outside to break the cycle. Inspired by his proximity to nature, Gandalf sang the song of his people but louder and longer than he's supposed to be able to do. So I brought him back inside before neighbors called the police. I went straight to my computer to google how to shut up a parrot. Pressed for time I went with the first hit:
"As an avian veterinarian I encourage you to shower with your parrot. They will enjoy this distraction. " ~ Random Parrot Blog.
I was skeptical so I clicked the link (trying to ignore the screeching in the background). Must be ok. I mean they sell special perches for this activity and someone even goes in the shower with the parrot. How bad can it be?
Ever wonder what a parrot bite feels like? Imagine someone taking a small bit of your skin with pliers and twisting it around in circles. It feels like that, except when the bird releases your flesh it takes about an hour for the pain to subside. Apparently the shower freaked Gandalf out so he proceeded to slide down my arm and sink his raptor-like beak into my flesh. I've read that you aren't supposed to yell. Yeah. So I yelled. And I swore and flailed my arm causing the beast to flutter to the floor.
Parrots aren't happy on the floor when they are insecure so Gandalf wanted to climb up my body to get to higher ground. In the melee I hadn't been able to get dressed and the pain of my arm meant that I wasn't risking him grabbing, well, anything else on me so he was chasing me around the bathroom and I was moving like a velociraptor was after me.
Once I layered up with clothing I got him up to this shelf, where he proceeded to poop in my contact case. And as you can see in this picture he left me a few other tokens. He wouldn't leave so I went downstairs and considered calling a SWAT team as my bird had taken my bathroom hostage. I finally decided if those two kids in Jurassic Park could handle a T-Rex I could wrangle one 9 ounce freaking parrot.
So - Gandalf is back in his $$$ cage and I am back to reading parrot blogs. This is going to be even more challenging than I thought. No more showers until we've gotten to know each other better.
I think that's probably a good lesson in general.